Breaking Reality Because It's Fun
by shockedlizard
Summary: "Oh Avengers—tonight, I shall make you dance." Loki's got hold of a machine that can bend reality and he intends to use it to screw with as many people as possible—starting with The Avengers. Let's see how messy things get before someone stops him. CAN anyone stop him? Contains swearing.
1. The Job at Hand

**Prologue**

It was the first of January 2017. Amidst the usual madness of life on earth, a rising star was born. A genius programmer, a teenage girl, marking the front page on every corner of the globe with her brand new invention. She managed to do what no one else had ever done before. She created a whole new world—a computer game which allowed people to upload themselves into the system.

Forget controllers and keyboards, you could now feel the objects in the game with your own hands, taste the food with your own lips, fight with your own strength—and for your own life.

Imagine the possibilities.

Especially in the hands of someone like Loki Laufeyson.

* * *

**Chapter One**

_**The Job at Hand**_

He trailed a slender finger across the crisp newspaper, his bright green eyes scanning the article for the second time that morning. Unlike on Asgard, the humans were not stuck at an impasse—they were progressing in leaps and bounds—Loki was impressed, very impressed. After all, a system that can take anyone from the real world and put them inside a make-believe land was an exciting prospect indeed.

His green eyes flickered towards the horizon, fixing on Stark Tower, his thin lips curling into a thoughtful smile. Midgard had been at peace for far too long. It was time for him to rain a little chaos down on the world. And what better way to do that than through a computer game? He shivered in the chilly morning air, his mind whirring with delight as facets of a plan began falling into place.

_Oh Avengers—tonight, I shall make you dance._

Sliding a hand into his robes, he pulled out an iPhone—a Christmas gift from Tony Stark last year.

_Ah, memories_, thought Loki fondly. He could still recall the exact look on Stark's face when Loki burst out of a particularly large gift-box, dressed in a Santa Claus outfit and laughing maniacally before hijacking their presents. The Avengers never really forgave him for that.

He unlocked the phone, flicked through his contact list, and found the person he was looking for. After a few minutes of ringing, the phone finally picked up on the other end.

"Morning," Loki cooed sweetly.

"Laufeyson," said a cheery voice. "Did you know it's Magneto's birthday today? We should drop by on him. I found a carton of TNT outside my house this morning, we could use that—drop it over his purple, pin-shaped head."

"As productive as that sounds, I have a better idea."

"Better than blowing up Magneto?"

"Much better."

"Blowing you?" He paused before adding, "Again?"

"Perhaps some other time," Loki replied impatiently. "I need you for something else."

"Like what?"

Loki hesitated. "Now that I think of it, this favour I had in mind may not be to your liking after all."

"Why not? What is it—I can do it."

"It may go against your very nature, my dearest fire-bender, maybe even making you uncomfortable and rendering you vulnerable. Yes... forgive me for this pointless call—I think I'll ask Bob Drake instead, the Iceman would be better suited than you..."

"Are you shitting me? He's one of the good guys. Whatever the job is, you're better off asking me. Do I look so weak that I can't handle a little ice?"

"Well, if you're certain." Loki smiled. "I suppose you could use a cold shower."

"Yeah—wait, what?"

"Now listen well, here's what we're going to do..."

* * *

Pyro was an asshole. At about a quarter to five on a Saturday afternoon, he broke into SHIELD headquarters and ran off with a bright blue ice-making casket that The Avengers had taken from Loki after defeating the Asgardian earlier that day. As if one super-villain turning the city into ice hadn't been enough, now they had to track down Pyro and make sure he didn't do the same.

Clint swore loudly, earning himself a chastising look from Steve. All business-like as usual, Steve interlaced his fingers and leaned forward at the meeting table. Clint and Natasha were sitting on either side of him, Fury standing at the front of the room next to a large screen displaying an annotated diagram of an island.

"How do you know Pyro's there?" Natasha asked.

"We tracked him—" A pointer shot out from within Fury's sleeve and struck a section of a world map that had magically appeared on the screen. "To Florida, he disappeared right around here."

"The North Atlantic ocean." Natasha frowned.

"Find him and bring back the casket," Fury seethed. "Before he starts another goddamned ice-age."

"Great," said Clint. "Yeah. Find him. Why the hell not—let's all go to the one place on earth where we'll probably never be heard from again."

Steve swerved around in worry. Fury was wearing that expression again, the one which meant that he was withholding important information. From the look on Clint and Natasha's faces, they obviously knew what that information was—her eyebrows were creased in thought and Clint looked ready to throttle someone.

Noticing Steve's confusion, Clint gestured at the island on the screen. "It's the bermuda triangle."

"What?!"

"It's just a children's tale, Captain, calm down," said Natasha briskly. "People go in and out of that area all the time."

"Exactly." Fury slapped a pile of papers on the desk, giving Steve a look that clearly said, _we're not gonna have a problem here, are we, Rogers?_

Natasha cocked her head to the side, her questioning eyes now fixed on Steve. It wasn't like him to get so worked up. He caught her gaze and coughed, feeling sheepish.

"Bermuda triangle—no problem," he said hesitantly. "I'll get the others and we'll head out immediately."

"Why would Pyro want an ice-casket anyway? I know he had a fallout with Magneto but he's still a fire person," Clint pointed out. "Isn't ice bad for him or something?"

"Maybe he's working together with Loki," Natasha mused.

"Are you serious—"

"Doesn't matter, we have to stop them." Steve straightened himself, swallowing down a sense of unease as he threw a glance at either teammate. Clint still looked annoyed about the location but Natasha—satisfied that their leader had pulled himself together—was already in mission-mode, her eyes drinking in the information on the screen. The sooner they finished up, the better.

As they were leaving, however, Clint noticed an odd expression creeping onto Directory Fury's face. It looked like guilt—or pity. There was more to the story, something they hadn't been told. Whatever Fury was hiding, Clint hoped it wouldn't end up killing them.

* * *

Fury glared at them as they left, in the same manner he always did. It was only when the door slammed shut and the room was left empty of anyone—aside from himself and a rigged security camera—that Fury closed his eyes and turned into Mystique. She flipped her red hair over her shoulders, her blue skin still tingling from the transformation.

"Pyro," she hissed into a cellphone. "They're on their way."

"Pyro's not at the phone right now," came a suave reply, dripping in a sickly sweet English accent. Mystique's heart skipped a beat.

She ignored it and continued quickly, "Loki. I'm done here."

"Well done. Pyro and I are in Florida, I'll message you the address."

"Right."

"Oh, and one more thing—bring some sushi when you come over."

"Sushi?"

"Don't forget the wasabi." And he hung up without another word.

_Jerk_, thought Mystique. Sexy, yes, and a voice of pure sex but Loki was still a jerk—why did they even put up with him?

* * *

Despite many protests, The Avengers still managed to pack their things and set off for the bermuda triangle. Tony and Thor headed there first, seeing as they could fly, while the others rode a ferry run by SHIELD agents. Aside from a mild bump in the beginning of their journey—when Bruce found Deadpool stowing away in the bathroom with a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream—the trip was turning out to be quite a pleasant one.

"What if Deadpool's involved with Pyro?" Steve said suddenly, about twenty minutes after they had thrown the red-masked villain off their boat. He lifted his gaze from his UNO cards to survey the others—Bruce, Clint, and Natasha—seated around the table. "We could have interrogated him at least."

Natasha wasn't paying him the slightest bit of attention. Her burrow was creased in concentration at the impossible task set out before her. "These arrows. They mean the person that comes after you misses a turn?"

"No," said Bruce. "The circular ones, those are the blocking ones. Arrows are reverse, it reverses the order we go in."

"Are you sure? I played this with a kid once who insisted they were to miss a turn."

"Only if you're playing a two-player game," Clint added. "Why were you playing with a kid anyway?"

"Is anyone listening to me?" Steve continued. "This is important, we don't know what we're sailing towards, this could be a trap, Pyro and Loki and Deadpool could be working together—"

"Does anyone have one of those colour-changing cards?" Clint asked.

Steve slammed his cards onto the table and three pairs of disinterested eyes flickered to him curiously.

"Relax," Natasha told him. "Deadpool wasn't in on it, he just broke up with Parker and wanted to be a pain in someone's ass."

"This whole mission is a pain in the ass," mumbled Clint. "Loki is a pain in the ass."

"Good thing Thor's not here to hear you." Bruce chuckled. Steve's attention, on the other hand, had locked onto Natasha's statement.

"Deadpool was dating Peter?!"

She narrowed her eyes at him, almost as if to say, _how could you not know that?_

"Isn't there some kind of law against super-villains and superheroes intermingling?"

"I think," Clint began slowly, "The more important question would be why Deadpool would tag along on our field trip after breaking up with Spiderman—it's not like they hang out with us."

"Maybe he has a crush on you." Bruce smirked.

"What are we, in high school?"

"You guys," said Natasha. She frowned, pulling a card from her deck and turning it around to show the others—on it was an old-fashioned illustration of a skeleton in armour, on horseback, carrying a black flag with a flower and the number thirteen scrawled on it.

"Hey..." Steve's eyes widened. "Isn't that a tarot card?"

"It's Death," she replied and in one swift movement had her knife in one hand and a gun poised with the other. By the time her UNO cards had fluttered to the floor, Clint had his bow and arrow ready, Bruce was half-naked, and Steve wrapped his hand around a gun inside his jacket. They looked at each other, bracing themselves for an attack or some kind of disaster.

All of a sudden, the sound of piano playing filled the air—the notes ran angrily into each other against a layer of beautiful, heightened melody. They all tensed, half-expecting something to leap out at them from the shadows. The Phantom of the Opera perhaps.

"Where did you get the cards?" Steve whispered urgently.

Clint groaned. "They were in Deadpool's pocket."

Before Steve could scold him for pickpocketing, the ferry swung to the side, throwing them all off balance and into each other. The lights overhead flickered. Steve yelled at everyone to calm down while Clint cursed at the top of his lungs, Bruce crashing into him and Natasha as they all lunged at something to hold onto. Then—as abruptly as it began—the music stopped.

And they heard a bloodcurdling scream.


	2. Castles and Creepy As Moats

**Chapter Two**

**_When Castles Appear_  
**

* * *

Meanwhile, Tony and Thor had found a castle. They had been flying over the ocean, keeping their eyes peeled for any clues that might lead them to Pyro—a yacht or some other type of boat perhaps—when, out of nowhere, a castle sprung up from the water. Tony let out a yelp and doubled back. Which, in his suit, meant doing a half-somersault in mid-air, zooming backwards and crashing into Thor.

While the two of them regained their composure, landing on the island warily, it seemed more and more impossible that a place like that had just appeared out of nowhere. In the air, the castle and its island seemed tiny; but on the ground, the two of them found themselves looking up at a gigantic structure straight out of an old horror movie. Complete with a drawbridge and everything. There were probably even bloodthirsty crocodiles in the moat.

"We must enter," said Thor uncertainly. It was strange how small he looked compared to the sight before them, even in his Asgardian armour and Hercules-like hair billowing in the wind.

Tony couldn't shake off a creeping sense of unease; they were still quite a distance from the castle and there didn't seem to be any immediate danger but it felt like there was something not quite right about the whole situation. Something that he should have noticed, something obvious—

"The grass," said Tony suddenly, eyeing his feet. That was the thing about being in the Iron Man suit, you couldn't notice things like the feel of grass between your feet, it made it harder to pick up on things sometimes.

"Grass?"

"Look around, Hercules," Tony said, readying his weapons. "We're standing on a field of fresh green grass, behind us is the never-ending ocean, which isn't supposed to be growing mysterious islands with haunted castles and moats. The castle looks like hell but the grass is as neatly trimmed as Steve's legs—someone's been keeping the field tidy. But not the castle, why? There aren't any other places around, not that we can see for miles, and look at that creepy as moat."

"The moat? I do not follow-"

"Creepy as moats aren't grown, they're built. Someone came here, built a moat and a castle, and someone's also been mowing the lawn. I am so freaked out right now, can we call the others and not go in—Loki?!" Tony squawked the last word, nearly tripping over his own feet.

"You wish to enter my brother?"

"No, shit, it's Loki—over there!" Tony could see a tall figure standing behind the castle windows, grinning at them. Just...grinning.

Thor followed Tony's line of sight and waved. "HELLO, BROTHER!" he boomed, both hands and Mjolnir swerving back and forth in the air. "WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?"

"Oh, I don't know, death and destruction, maybe?" Tony grumbled, picking himself up. To make things even scarier, Loki was happily waving back. Despite the distance, he could see Loki's smile as clear as day. Teasing, arrogant, his green eyes burning as they pierced Tony's bravado and looked straight into his soul. He blinked, head jerking backwards as if snapping out of a stifling daydream. It was starting to get a bit hot, with the sun glaring down at them and everything.

"He is beckoning us to enter," said Thor, pulling Tony back to reality. "Come, perhaps he knows about Pyro and the casket."

"Oh, I bet he does." Again, the image of Loki's smirk flashed in Tony's mind and he had a sudden urge to—

"There is a time and a place, Tony, a time and a place," he rambled to himself. When Thor asked what the matter was, Tony was almost tempted to say, _your brother_, but caught himself in the nick of time. Missions first, misguided sexual frustrations later.

* * *

Crossing the drawbridge was easy enough, it wasn't as shaky as they thought it would be. Once inside, however, it was an entirely different matter. The place was a mess, rubble coated the floor and the air had been sucked out—replaced by stale dust and a faint smell of burning. Maybe the place had once been beautiful, judging by the designs on the broken pillars, walls, and ceiling but it was little more than a corpse now. An echo of the past. And the dim lighting did nothing to liven up the place.

"Look at the state of this place!" exclaimed Tony. "Someone needs to do some spring cleaning." He kicked a piece of wood out of the way. "At least a few thousand years' worth of it."

"Do you see my brother?"

"He was on one of the higher floors, we might have to climb our way up or something." His eyes scanned the area, there didn't seem to be any staircases. Suddenly, he noticed a small movement by a pillar and his guns immediately pointed in that direction. A swirl of green smoke spread from the top of the pillar, spilling out from the ceiling, and weaving themselves into a blank wall.

"Loki," they both said simultaneously as the green smoke covered the area before disappearing in a puff—leaving the previously barren wall decorated with words.

'THIS WAY, PEASANTS' it said, followed by an arrow pointing them to—oh, so there was a staircase after all.

"MANY THANKS, BROTHER!" Thor yelled to no one in particular.

"I'm gonna wring your brother's neck," said Tony, because he was a superhero and that seemed like the expected thing to say, even as a bemused smile made its way across his face.

* * *

Turns out, Loki's instructions were plastered all over the place. Every time they took a wrong turn, there was that green arrow and an insult—'WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO TAKE THIS TURN, FOOLS, TAKE THAT ONE,' followed by 'I SAID THAT ONE, YOU UTTER DIMWITS, CAN YOU NOT SEE THE STAIRCASE' and, Tony's personal favourite 'I SAID STAIRCASE YOU BLIND NINCOMPOOPS, THAT IS A LADDER, HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF DIRECTION, OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, I'M SENDING MYSTIQUE DOWN TO GET YOU.'

* * *

When the blue-skinned, perpetually naked mutant appeared, they followed her in an awkward silence, down more broken hallways, until rounding a corner into a security office filled with computers and cameras watching every corner of the castle and island. It was like they had stepped in a completely different place, the floor was clean and tiled, the walls made of steel and covered in LCD monitors.

Sitting in a large office chair, eyes locked in front of the twelve-panelled screen in front of him and fingers flying across a large panel of buttons and keyboards, was Loki—showing no notice of their entrance.

"Brother—" Thor began before Tony cut him off.

"Where's Pyro and the casket?" he demanded.

"Pleasure to see you too, Stark, it has been too long."

"Well there was this morning when you tried to turn the city into ice and I kicked your ass, so if you don't mind, give us the casket and we can all be on our way."

Without taking his eyes off whatever the hell he was doing, Loki gestured lazily to Mystique. "Bring Pyro here." She nodded and disappeared with a soft click of the door behind her.

Thor moved forward to try again. "Brother—"

"You're just going to give us the casket?" Tony asked curiously. "No fight or anything—what are you doing anyway?"

The places shown on the screens didn't look like parts of the castle after all. Some were of deserts, others of schools with kids in them, then there was a view from the back of a bus, a police box, and some other places he had never seen before in his life. Including something that looked like a living room made out of diamonds, couches glinting in a bright pink light.

The highest panel of the screen was the only one without a picture of a place, it was filled with lines of computer programming instead—growing with every tap of Loki's fingers.

"Since when did you know how to work computers?" Tony asked. The green-eyed Asgardian paused, giving Tony a smile that reached his eyes and lit up his whole face. There was amusement there and a hint of pride.

Tony's heart hammered against his chest—_why was this stupid island so hot?_—and damn Loki looked good. His dark hair had been brushed to the back, the pale light of the room throwing shadows across his face, accentuating his cheekbones, the curve of his mouth, and the taut line of his neck. Oh God, his neck.

Almost knowingly, Loki tilted his head to the side, revealing more smooth bare skin, his voice smooth as he said, "Is it such a surprise that some of your interests may have rubbed off on me?" There was a glint in his eyes, like he was truly pleased to see Tony in awe of his IT skills. Which was weird, it wasn't like Loki was after his approval or anything, especially considering the all-out fight they had had that morning in the middle of the city—Loki even threw a baboon at him and Natasha at some point (their fight had been pretty close to the zoo).

"You threw a baboon at me," Tony remembered aloud, and Loki raised an eyebrow questioningly—all traces of his earlier delight quickly disappearing.

"What of it?"

"Brother!" yelled Thor and the two of them spun around, having forgotten that he had been standing there the whole time. Before he could continue what he had been trying to say since they had stepped into the room, there was a loud thud from a closet. Followed by a muffled scream.

"Whoa," said Tony.

Thor shot a worried look at Loki—who smirked—and he marched over to the closet, wrenching it open. Inside was a wild-haired teenage girl; bound-up and gagged, almost buried under a pile of boxes.

"She's Russian," said Loki pleasantly.

Tony recognised her, she had been in the newspapers. "Is that the girl who invented—"

A strangled scream tore from the girl and she leapt onto Thor like a mad cat, clawing at him. He swung Mjolnir at her, hollering foreign curses, and Tony immediately threw himself into the skirmish—trying to grab the girl. She ducked deftly, side-stepping them with ease, and lunged at the keyboard. Loki's eyes widened. The look on his face chilled Tony's blood.

_Shit._

A soft 'No' had barely escaped Loki's lips when the girl grabbed a box with a big red button and slammed it hard. Light blinded their eyes, silence falling into the room like a blanket—despite their terrified screaming and crashing. Something flew from the panels and the last thing Tony saw was Loki diving towards him, worried green eyes shouting something in the silence. Something important.

"Stark!"

And the ground fell out beneath his feet.

"Stark, hold on to me, you imbecile!"

_Jeez_, thought Tony as he blacked out, _just how many words for 'idiot' did this guy have?_

The last thing he remembered was a pair of cool hands pulling him out of the suit, wrapping themselves around him as the world exploded into pieces.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm sorry the story's moving so slowly _ it's getting there, I swear! Loki's plans have pretty much backfired and all of them are going to be stuck in a computer game soon. Very soon. Like, next chapter.

And, of course, more FrostIron because it is a ship that I ship.

Don't forget to leave a review—please, please, _please _tell me if you see any mistakes. You are totally allowed to criticise my writing and tell me if I should fix up anything. That would be much appreciated ;_;

Thank you for reading! ^^

- shockedlizard


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